The New Calling

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be,Am an attendant lord, one that will doTo swell a progress, start scene or two,Advise the prince; no doubt, easy tool,Deferential, glad be of use,Politic, cautious, and meticulous;Full high sentence, but bit obtuse;At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—Almost, at Fool.—T. S. Eliot, from “The Love Song J. Alfred Prufrock”I accepted new calling, course. Without reservation. My father raised me always go wherever God asks all. Even though suspected Bishop Oaks just being petty. He never came right out officially declared it punishment, course, whole ward knew was. mean, they had all heard what said in fast testimony meeting, bishop couldn't even wait two weeks before handing my pink slip, promptly releasing as second counselor elders quorum presidency. The timing wasn't suspicious; outright obvious, palpably premeditated. sending clear, unequivocal message: A price paid for speaking sacrament meeting like that, toeing party line public. At least Boise Idaho West Stake Indian Lakes Ward. long Heber C. presiding. Come hell water, he going run tight ship, so there some kind mutiny under his watch. No, it's “aye, aye, captain” you'll swab decks around here. In times these, is becoming increasingly difficult tell Christians pirates.Maybe should have it. Maybe this calling thing part larger, divinely inspired repentance process designed bring back line. Only when kid—back early sixties—things were simpler. There three R's: Recognize your sin, feel Remorse it, Resolve do again. But nowadays R's seem keep multiplying. Restitution. Reformation. Realization. Before you five seven. Renunciation. Requisition. Redemption. On good day, sometimes many nine more. Regeneration. Renewal. Recovery. It has gotten point where R every week, now are telling need Recant, too. Give break! We know that's happen. If put same situation again, if over, we would say exact thing. Brother Richardson cornered after didn't down, position hasn't changed bit. anything, stating publicly only strengthened resolve.Normally, I'm make waves. Sure, occasionally read Dialogue Sunstone, doesn't mean don't believe Book Mormon, clearly states anyone with spirit contention devil. So, casually contend, time somebody something, who else it? Not Sister Smoot. That's sure. They bought (and sold) line—hook, line, sinker. Anderson Graham somewhat more nuanced, perhaps sympathetic—behind closed doors any rate—but neither them backbone ever stand up anything controversial lot fell me, simply said. As respectfully could, pulled punches. After all, mother bold courageous, Nephi armies Helaman, let's everybody congregation exactly saying why punishment said, then can live that. perfectly well risk taking. You can't certain disposition church without assuming level risk. You'd real rookie much.Not getting called assistant librarian martyr. latter-day Giordano Bruno. Though was, personal hero mine. respect someone isn't afraid speak take front tough crowd. Well, spoken out, taken stand, looked spend hour week standing next multifunctional Xerox Versalink C505 ConnectKey technology–enabled smart workplace assistant, ragged old-school Bibles triple combinations smartphoneless Primary kids checking state-of-the-art audiovisual equipment their technologically illiterate parents. irony lost on me: been director special collections university decades now, three-time past vice treasurer Association College Research Libraries, librarian, Go figure.So, issued sustained by ward, unanimously—though did notice Smoot hands either way—but get set apart. trying avoid me. know, hoping prevent ugly confrontation over substance Or maybe busy. call Sunday School presidency, shuffling few Young Women counselors, And tithing settlement coming up, too, sitting looking things do. those callings. really power priesthood blessings heaven remember choose double-sided option whenever possible. save paper costs Lord's sacred funds—and protect environment, rely than arm flesh find pictures Gospel Arts Library. numbered, head Nelson, show ropes lose way.And right. discernment gift prophecy hand fraying hymn books sure Roku working properly. because apart, exercising keys, magnify else. Good says, diversities gifts, differences administration, multiplicities operations, worketh body may hath members, members body, many, Lord, foot hand, knee elbow, member abundant comeliness another. team, step plate pitches everyone lineup—even happen batting last. guy, guy speak, let teammates down.The problem was: How librarian? aren't real-life examples scriptures. Nephi, I, could Lord commands, His commandments anxiously engaged sections D&C about how collate copies Relief Society newsletter, Mormon says nothing pair different colored dry-erase markers erasers individualized Ziploc bags. us librarians boldly preach gospel truths Apostle Paul souls unto sons Alma, faith forbearance use cutter, which arguably most serious responsibility. All little common sense basic principles caution.I guess fancied myself dutifully preserving records people carefully curating editing tribe's archive records, seemed delusion grandeur. compiling centuries golden plates into correct book face earth; busy back-cataloguing greatest hits decades, halcyon days, Church correlation. making generation-defining editorial decisions inserting prophetic interpolations guide narrative flow scripture. condensing missionary journals daring tales adventure inspiring spiritual masterpieces. interweaving testimonies ancient prophets brave tapestry revelation ultimately convince both Jews Gentiles these latter days. be; do, pinch, content punching own weight one. Obviously, first needed however, hearken counsel presiding authority. obedience law principle obtaining righteousness glories worlds hereafter, etc., etc. awkward. man chain command served woman before. took while envision our relationship terms proper felt weird superior “Sister.” showing enough her “President” either. She president anything. department heads university, “Head Nelson” itself sounded used term “Headmistress,” too British. Hogwarts Harry Potter. end, other Nelson trust she understood deference wanted clear worked direction share duties responsibilities.Next, page—both each wards. Initially, thought obviously hold Librarian Executive Committee Correlation Meeting. drafted brief agenda, think necessary. coordinate librarians, usually jotted something down Post-it Note passed during break between meetings. pretty wrong, superior, deferentially demurred. Just weren't overlooking important, decided consult general handbook. instructions quite brief, but, suspected, right, multi-ward building, agent supposed appoint committee library manage budget funds allocated include presidency attending meeting.So, pickle: contribute heartfelt insights procedures constraints, also follow protocol, stated Meeting only. invited meeting? sustain Nelson's authority indirectly pass suggestions through command.But still another explain handbook Meeting, want usurp behind back. throw wrench budding barely begun, prayed receive immediate answer. fasted additional inspiration, distinct impression drop Notes suggested. now. later. Besides, old system fine, needs extra especially actually anyway. I'd revisit issue months. developed rapport better understanding policies. anyhow, drafting white first. roughly outline compelling proposals. proud admit probably waste couple mostly moping around. Actually, much sulking, honest. Being demoted hurt pride, proved colossal time. Up such place: acquisitions make, catalogue, manuscripts digitize, websites design. here church, crayons glue sticks. occasional childproof scissors odds ends scrap paper. Between meetings flurry activity—for ten minutes most—but rest completely dead. tedium, bother Nelson. While sat fretting stewing self-pity underutilized talents, book. engrossed figured reading bowdlerized Harlequin romance, missionaries premortal existence, asked anyway: “What reading?”“‘Anti-Oedipus, Kinship, Subject Affect: Reading Fanon Deleuze Guattari,’” replied offhandedly. “It's post-colonial analysis queer concepts kinship diverse historical theoretical perspectives.”“Deleuze who?” confused.“Guattari,” clarified. “They post-Freudian, post-Marxist French philosophers,” added made sense. philosophy class post-structuralism, post-modernism, post-something What posts days? seems everything, post pay attention newfangled nonsense. BYU. Hugh Nibley. far concerned, style today's intellectual fads will.“I much,” continued. “I done here, twins due months, knows ahead lists comprehensive exams. Sometimes, reason babies.” Her explanation doing help bruised ego, course.“With hands, must more,” lamented loud, comment might spur taking seriously. self-righteous, day schoolwork Sabbath, alone clock calling.“I book,” obvious. “But yourself useful, suppose cleaning place little. shelves full outdated handbooks unnecessary pamphlets year's lesson manuals. myself, exam tomorrow, finish article.”“Oh, okay,” reassured her. “I'm started myself.” little, saw talking about: broken-down film strip projectors, piles issues Boys’ Life, dust-covered flannel board stories, partially completed stake histories 1940s, tangled mess unused thirty-year-old cables, mountains cassette tapes John Bytheway. Does anybody player anymore, Bytheway? decluttered, realized crucial defining moment librarians. Probably important age yet history libraries. With newly emergent media technologies online resources, library's traditional functions, its historic obsolete. Consequently, duty clean materials, sacrificing precious resources retain documentary record people, preserve religious heritage, compile history. see, requires very delicate balancing act: discard irrelevant documents, conserve tribe.Ultimately, complete Marie Kondo ended discarding three-fourths print collection. Some excessive, walking avant-garde edge, forward-looking. trapped Gutenbergian echo chamber, nostalgically fetishizing printed word. Of kept musical scores choir, since look choir holding phones faces, siloed half-dozen Preach Gospel, prospective discarded manuals empty starting Soviet-era supermarket. Eventually we'd creative ways refill acquired space innovative expanded youth, Trunk-or-Treat, fun videos perfect excuse convene Ward already begun filling notebook possible ideas. meantime, putting announcement asking donate lying short donated hundred books, plenty restocking library. task, several sharp theological dilemmas. For example, edition Bruce R. McConkie's Doctrine? Were contains doctrinal errors, Black men priesthood, continues politically topic? yet, volume destroying vital tradition, whitewashing leaders creating memory hole erases history? research evolution concept outer darkness? Wouldn't Doctrine perfect, indispensable, reference? split difference swap revised edition, wouldn't poignancy, unique flavor character, personality genius undiluted original? torn. priceless value seminal document, practically relic, contemporary Church, found errors painfully inconsistent forward march continuing revelation.I noticed 1990 Strength Youth, labels homosexuality abomination. More recent editions, later revisions living prophet? won't held responsible loaning guidelines? Youth hardly cultural masterpiece preserved. praying together agreed McConkie youth pamphlets. This elegant solution: pace ongoing ever-new, ever-changing traces tribe.It Boyd K. Packer's To Men Only, posed dilemma. That moral guidepost puberty, undoubtedly inspire generations chaste lives upstanding purity, stopped publishing teachings masturbation become incorrect, classic sermon delivered conviction hate remaining nineteen pamphlet 2020? higher draft letter guidance. gave green light write letter, concerned shouldn't further burden shakeup council temple recommend interviews. assured her, wrong following holy Melchizedek Priesthood. for. Brown borrow stapler—and fill Ryan's mission going. Ryan Buenos Aires six seven months round photos. “Here's companion. Here's latest baptism. Rose Garden Palermo Park. Avenida 9 de Julio. barbecue ward.”“Looks eating well,” noted casually. “Nothing fine Argentine grill, work going?”“Oh, great,” “Ryan companion top baptizers mission. baptized last It's BreighEllen worried now.”Brother referring Hansen girl. dating junior year school. ward's Meghan Markle. Such couple. Glamorous model citizens, spirited independent-minded. waiting him, sound things, having thoughts. “Did Dear him?” cautiously.“Not rough patch. details, struggling testimony. serious, usual stuff: conflicting accounts First Vision, Joseph's treasure digging folk magic, rock hat, anachronisms Abraham translation issues, Lamanite DNA, Deutero-Isaiah, CES Letter, and, polygamy. Anyhow, told thoughts testimony, him. prayers?” hurrying off stapler.“I that,” replied, stopping him momentarily. “Why send copy Richard Bushman's Rough Stone Rolling? library, helped crisis. regain Terryl Fiona Givens's Crucible Doubt Patrick Mason's Planted: Belief Belonging Age Doubt. Do helpful?”“Well, I'll mind future,” thanked politely. mistake turning Bushman volume. game-changer, do.That hadn't anticipated: prayers behalf sick afflicted. Call ask pray brother's cousin's niece cancer, Reynolds requested sister divorce. Add Kimball's daughter recently car wreck Jones, decide whether move assisted living, genuine prayers. week. Almost story difficulty proxy prayer roll, soon wife regularly meals, cookies, unending stream sympathy. second, third, ministering families. baptismal covenant bear another's burdens, extension calling. received guidance within job description. ran got home. year, adrift. hear president, expected to. Clearly, priorities, proceed, began fasting inspiration next. finally hit me—like ton bricks—suggesting approaching way. physical collection primary objective; focus instead helping access world internet resources. university: moving promoting projects digital humanities. Nowadays, everything virtual aware rapidly proliferating electronic materials—the podcasts, YouTube discussion boards, apps Twitter accounts, blogs vlogs—that available generation tech-savvy Latter-day Saints? familiar resources—like FamilySearch JustServe—but certainly acquaint less well-known Joseph Smith Papers Topics essays. fact, expanding do?It thinking outside box introduce wild west blogosphere. start. totally whol